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I am going to be SO RICHThis may be the last you hear from me. I’ve just received this email:Dear friend, I represent WFS INC based in Finland. My company markets and exports cotton,cocoa and other products for world trade. We are searching for representatives who can help us establish a medium of getting to our customers in Europe and America as well as making payments through you as our payment officer. It is upon this note that we seek your assistance to stand as our representative in your country. Note that, as our representative, you will receive 5% of whatever amount you clear for the company and the balance will be paid into an account we will avail to you [etc. etc., I just need to provide a few personal details to get the ball rolling] Very Respectfully, Mr Sauerwald Wilhelm Fridrich. President, WFS INC. Finland. Well, I clearly stand to make a sodding FORTUNE. And don’t come asking for any of it. So long, losers. This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item
Jolly and UsefulI’m involved in a new online shop! Selling lovely things for children and the home, including the amazing Crumb-pets, JollyAndUseful.co.uk is well worth keeping an eye on!Incidentally, J&U also has a lovely affiliates programme. Put a link to our website on yours and you get a percentage of anything we make from the customers you send. This is a very easy way of making money if you have a website.
This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Mon, 11 Jul 2005
I don’t normally do thisbut some things you just have to respond to. Councillor Terry Kelly from Renfrewshire council felt the need to write to the Guardian’s letter page to say this:“Congratulations to the scientific community…. Back in January they fired a bullet on to a 280m-mile space journey, and it has now smashed through a comet travelling at 23,000 miles a minute. Now they can try something really difficult, like feeding a starving third world child.” Coming from anyone else, I would have just shook my head at the naivety. But from a wannabe politician this was too much, so I had to email him: Dear Cllr Terry, I read your letter in today’s Guardian with interest. I know how easy it is to be shocked by spending in one field of human activity when one perceives a need in another; I frequently find myself in the same position*. However, you surely can’t believe that the existence of starving people in the Third World is the result of scientists lacking the necessary knowledge or desire to help. If children are starving in Africa then this is the result of politicians’ decisions: they are the ones who not only impose trade restrictions and subsidies and do little to calm the continent’s conflicts, but who also hold the strings of the scientific purse in the West. There are any number of crop scientists and irrigation experts who would gladly feed the starving, but politicians feel that the money is better spent elsewhere; the world’s scientists didn’t sit down around a table and choose between investigating a comet or feeding the poor, you know. You might remember the importance of politicians in choosing the direction of scientific activity if you ever rise to a position of proper power in the political world. I suspect you might go far; you have, after all, already mastered the delicate art of scapegoating. Yours, Ian Walker *For example, I’m currently staggered that we’re prepared merrily to fritter away billions on hosting the Olympics when with only a tiny amount of that money I could carry out research that would save people’s lives. I will be interested to see if he replies. Update: He did reply, which was nice given that I’m not in his constituency and so bothering with my opinions is outside his balliwick, as it were. His reply said that despite my “jaundiced” view of politicians, I shared his concerns. He went on to say that his letter was not an attack on the scientific community but was instead saying there was no technical reason we cannot solve the problems of the planet, which rather makes it sound as if he hadn’t read his own letter. “Whether you like it or not it is the politicians who will solve this” he informed me leadenly, which was precisely my point in the first place and so it was nice to see he had come round to my way of thinking; I must be a more persuasive writer than I give myself credit for. I turned down his kind offer to send me a Labour Party membership form. This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Tue, 14 Jun 2005
The Oxford and Cambridge Cycling SurveyI’ve been hard at work with Oxfordshire County Council surveying the experiences of almost 5,000 cyclists. The results, which you can download from this page make for some interesting reading, especially the stuff on accidents.This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Sat, 11 Jun 2005
Thinking of buying an SUV?I’ve just been looking at EuroNCAP’s website. Bearing in mind that NCAP are hardly the sworn enemy of the motor industry, the comments from the pedestrian safety bits of their 4x4 SUV reviews make interesting reading:Range Rover (6/100): “This is dire, and Land Rover needs to improve matters.” BMW X5 (6/100): “High vehicles pose problems for pedestrians, especially children, and the X-5 is no exception. Its front is unfriendly and its bonnet top little better; a poor rating” Jeep Cherokee (8/100): “The results were poor. Jeep says it has not attempted to incorporate pedestrian protection in the design” [the mind boggles at Jeep’s comment] Kia Sorrento (8/100): “Only the part of the bonnet where an adult’s head might strike offered cushioning. Otherwise, the Sorento’s front end scored nothing. This is a very poor result” Mercedes-Benz M class (11/100): “a dismal performance” Vauxhall Frontera (6/100): “Protection offered for pedestrians by the Frontera proved to be dire” Suzuki Grand Vitara (0/100): “Protection was dire and scored no points” Volkswagen Toareg (19/100): “This does not match the protection provided to occupants. The front gave some cushioning where an adult’s head would most likely strike. But the child head impact areas and particularly the bumper and leading edge of the bonnet were very unfriendly” Volva XC90 (28/100): “The bumper and bonnet leading edge were unforgiving. But the top of the bonnet protected children’s and adult’s heads to give the XC90 a two-star rating. Volvo needs to work harder to improve pedestrian safety.” Land Rover Freelander (19/100): “The bonnet leading edge and bumper were particularly unforgiving” Mitsubishi Pajero Pinin (3/100): “The Pajero came close to scoring no points and no stars. Of all the areas tested only one site on the bonnet gave any cushioning at all for a pedestrian in a collision. Euro NCAP criticised this poor showing and has urged Mitsubishi to do more to protect pedestrians” Nissan X-trail (28/100) Even the very “safest” star performer, the Honda CR-V, only scored 53/100 for pedestrian safety. This is all thoroughly depressing reading, and suggests that, despite the loud insistence of certain folk, drivers should be free to choose whatever car they want without suffering criticism at around the same time I’m free to walk down the street without my life being put at risk by their choices. I can only hope that the people who bought these things to make their children safer are planning to drive their children around for the rest of their lives. This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Sat, 04 Jun 2005
Updated boat page I finally managed to get myself, my boat, and a decent camera all in one place, so have some lovely new photographs of Chota Peg II, the narrowboat I have for sale, as illustrated to the right. Buy her now. Go on, you know you want to.
This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Fri, 03 Jun 2005
They’ve made a doll of meLike Evil Kenevil and H out of Steps, I too have now had a doll made of me. That this appeared in the shops so soon after my attendance at a wedding disco cannot be a coincidence. Click here to see the video (3gp format) (if it doesn’t work, right-click to save the file and then load it)This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item
My narrowboat is for sale My lovely 45-foot narrowboat, Chota Peg, is for sale. She’s priced to sell, so if you’re looking for a boat for leisure or liveaboard use, get in touch. There is a page full of details here
This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Thu, 19 May 2005
More on the World Lying ChampionshipTrawling through my hard disk this morning, I came upon a bit of old writing. When I entered the World Lying Championship and the World Wife Carrying Championships I was planning to carry on entering such events and to have a stab at writing a book about it. This plan became, as Inspector Morse would say, OBE (overtaken by events), but I re-discovered the first chapter of this putative book, describing the dramatic events of the lying championship, and thought I might as well stick it up here. Enjoy.This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Thu, 28 Apr 2005
How people find this websiteI’m always interested to look at my site statistics and see how people find this site. A good number are specifically looking for me, searching Google for “Ian Walker” or the title of one of my papers, and that’s all fine and dandy. The more interesting thing is how people find my other pages. “Evil vegetables” is the third most common search term used by people visiting my page, and all sorts of other people search for related things like “are vegetables all evil?” (yes), and “evil broccoli”. Even more entertaining are the people who find the evil vegetable page by searching for things like “Lady of Shallot analysis”. I get a lot of these, and it amuses me a great deal to think of these English Lit students learning more than they bargained for.But it’s not all about informing student essays: the Evil Veg page also serves a useful purpose as a historical document. I’m proud to be the one of the web’s main sources for information about George Bush’s infamous banning of broccoli from the White House, for example. But enough of this! The point of this entry is that I am amazed to find that five (yes, five) different people have searched the web for the term “poo calculator”. Yes, I have one on the site, but that’s no excuse for people to be searching for one. The weirdos. What is the world coming to? This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Wed, 27 Apr 2005
The rise and rise of MonsterMonster now has a ratemykitten.com average rating of 8.9. Surely it’s only a matter of time until he’s in the top 20. This would make me very happy. You can see and vote for him hereThis line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Mon, 25 Apr 2005
I have a world-leading catOur cat, Monster, is getting amazing ratings at www.ratemykitten.com. At time of writing, his second picture has an incredible rating of 8.83! You can see his gallery hereThis line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Wed, 16 Mar 2005
Done some updatingI’ve reorganized and updated the work page and personal page of this site. Enjoy.This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Wed, 02 Mar 2005
Find your own news referencesI’ve just come across a site called Eliyon.com where you can find all the references to yourself in the media. Searching for myself I found several references to the Reuters story on the World Wife Carrying Championship last year.This line is a permanent link - use it if you want to bookmark or link to this news item Thu, 27 Jan 2005
Gone to
On 30 January I’m off to the Maldives for two weeks to help, if I can, distribute tsunami aid there. I’ll be fairly unobtainable in that time, but will post updates here if I can get hold of a computer. Bye!
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