WE KNOW THE LIE OF THE LAND

Published in The News and Star on 25/11/2003

VERBAL fisticuffs marked last weeks Worlds Biggest Liar competition.

I have some sympathy with those who protested about the decision to award the title to South Africas Abrie Kruger.

I know they call it a SWorld title, but we all know that the real world begins and ends in Cumbria.

Whats more, the winner was reading his story from a script and, if thats not a forbidden prop, then I dont know what is.

Like those other great Cumbrian attributes such as gurning and Cumberland and Westmorland wrestling, every effort should be made to keep the honours Sin county.

Of course offcomers can take the stage to tell their tall tales, but the Worlds Biggest Liar must be, by tradition, a true bred Cumbrian.

Why not have a SRest of the World trophy while maintaining our Cumbrian tradition for being unable to even lie straight in bed at nights by restricting the one true world championship to sons and daughters of the soil.

Copeland mayor George Clements says people need to get the event in perspective. It is supposed to be a fun event.

Come on George. As Bill Shankly used to say about football, lying is not a matter of life or death its more important than that, especially when it comes to Wasdales once a year extravaganza of bad taste.

What next one asks? Foreign gurners turning up at Egremont Crab Fair wearing George Bush and Tony Blair masks claiming they are fair props.? The integrity of our finest liars must be preserved.